....that I really don't care to know or understand people anymore. Sometimes I feel like I am living in the never ending Tower of Babel where right and wrong face off in an endless battle of words and stubbornness. But I wonder is one right and one wrong or are they both wrong? Perhaps they are both wrong by way of their approach and seeking to make the other person feel better and not looking out for their own well-being.
So, right now, my mind is made up to put my spiritual, physical and mental well-being before the comfort of others.....whatever the cost. That may sound self-centered but when you get so low and so weak that you become depressed at the thought of even speaking to certain people then something has to change. I walked the fine line of mental breakdown last week and let me just say it wasn't fun. Not only was it Christmastime but I didn't like what I was seeing on the other side of the line. I saw myself retreating when I should have been working through problems....I saw what my life would have been like without smiles and laughs.....and I saw myself taking the path of no return had I crossed that line.
But God saved me from myself.....now, I'm still mad enough to spit nails at some people but I am stable enough to call upon Him in the day of trouble.....I am stable enough to remember that we are but human, full of sin, and cannot change apart from His grace and mercy.
I am not sure where I will go from here....maybe I should just lock myself in a room with the people I have issue with....or maybe you should give us a pair of boxing gloves and let us go at it until we both come to our senses. I know one thing for sure....God will be directing my steps at every turn.....no matter the cost....no matter the pain.....no matter the hurt......come what may.
:-)
Now that I've brought everyone into the deep, dark pit with me.....have no fear for pictures will come at some point along the way of what joys did come my way during the Christmas season: my two favorite F words.......family and food!!!!
5 comments:
I find myself in these places from time to time. It's not selfish to think about yourself, not at all. There have been many times when I have had to just accept people for who and what they are and stop trying to tip toe around to keep from hurting their feelings. I can't handle overly sensitive people, and I have to remind myself not to let them drag me down with them. Do what you need to do to make your life what you want it to be, if that means telling people what you really think...then so be it! LoL. "Say what you mean and mean what you say. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
I like that quote at the end of your comment....might have to post it somewhere!
No sense in walking on eggshells if it makes life miserable. I'm just so over it...so over it!
That's easier said than done for a people-pleaser lik yourself. I'm going to hold you to this, you know.
I believe those words of wisdom are from Dr. Suess.
It is much better to take care of your own needs and let the chips fall where they may than to give in to others and harbor resentment as a result. You will never be able to control or change other people, you can only control your reaction to them. I will pray for God to grant you the wisdom to know what to do. :-)
Good ol' Dr. Suess....gotta love him.
Thanks Mandi....I appreciate prayers a lot.
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